As someone who is currently in a long distance relationship (250 miles!), this is an interesting question for me. I think there can be a lot of stigma placed on LDR’s and a lot of people don’t hesitate to voice their opinion on my relationship. But it’s not as negative as people make out! Yes it can be difficult, but I’ve also been in relationships where we lived in each other’s pockets and that was also difficult.
Personally I think that every relationship is going to have positives and negatives – no relationship is perfect! If you can say you want to work at the relationship and can work around the distance then it shouldn’t be judged any differently from other relationships.
For me personally, I get a lot of people saying things like “you’ve been together 2 years? But it’s long distance so it doesn’t count as 2 years” – of course it does! Whilst we may physically see each other a lot less than other couples, we still make the time for each other. We talk every single day and we Skype regularly, and when we do visit each other we go on dates and do things that normal couples do! Yes it may be different, and I think it’s perhaps that uncertainty that may scare people.
There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ relationship in my opinion – every relationship is different and comes with it’s own pro’s and cons. There are difficult aspects of LDR’s like the lack of physical contact, but there are also positives including more effort being made with communication and more opportunities to be spontaneous!
I guess it’s really down to individual opinion, but for me, as long as I’m happy in a relationship – who cares if it is ‘normal’? I’m certainly not!
Here are some things I think can help if you’re in an LDR..:
- MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER! – I can’t say this enough! Whether via skype or a phone call, make time to communicate by more than just text or email. Sometimes when you feel a bit down, hearing their voice can really pick you up. I think for me, it just feels more personal than a text.
- Arrange things to look forward to – Have a look into a night away somewhere or a day trip if distance allows it. Having something to plan and look forward to can add a bit of excitement and give you something positive to focus on rather than how long the distance seems.
- Find things you can do together when apart – There are all sorts of apps, games and ideas online for things LDR couples can do together. We play Pictionary online – it may sound sad to some, but it makes us laugh at how bad we are and it gives us something to do.
- Talk to others in a similar situation – With more and more people meeting online through social media or dating websites, it’s really not as taboo as it was a few years ago. Maybe have a look at online chats with people in the same situation, it can be a good source of support if you have a wobbly moment, or it could give you other couples to get to know together!
- Make sure you have your own life and look after yourself – One of the worst things you can do in an LDR is make it your entire life. You are your own person! Do things you enjoy doing, have the experiences you want to and put yourself first. Not only will it make you a stronger person, it will make the time your away from each other pass much quicker!
All in all, I think LDR’s can be a positive experience. There will be up’s and down’s just like any other relationship, but if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be!