20 things I learnt at university…


  1. There really isn’t much you can’t warm up and eat the next day – apart from chips, they taste like rubber.
  2. Suede is the worst material to wear on a night out – you will attract every liquid around you like a luxurious human sponge.
  3. It’s ok to want a night alone with knock off brand chocolate and Netflix
  4. Just because you live within 5 minutes walking distance of your lectures, does not mean you can always get there in 5… especially when crawling like a hungover slug.
  5. Cheese is ridiculously expensive! Try the local pound shops – just trust me.
  6. You will encounter at least one person from every category of human that you can possibly think of.
  7. KEEP YOUR CHANGE – it adds up and comes in useful at the end of term when you’re too skint for 9p noodles.
  8. If you come home from a night out with more money than you went out with, don’t ask questions.
  9. There will be times when you feel like you know nothing but also times you feel like you know everything. Balance.
  10. If you repeatedly put your hand up to ask questions towards the end of a lecture, you will become the most hated person ever.
  11. It’s ok to have a little cry – just maybe not in the bread aisle of the supermarket…
  12. If you order a non-alcoholic drink and ask the guy behind the bar to ‘make it a double’ he will not be amused…no matter how many winks you add.
  13. 90% of the things you sign up for at Freshers you will completely forget about by the time your back at your room – note: you will be harassed by these people later on. Pole dancing? I’m alright pal.
  14. If you forget someone’s name it’s far less embarrassing to just ask it again there and then, rather than waiting until 6 months in for a VERY awkward conversation.
  15. If you get a bad mark on your coursework don’t complain to your lecturer’s colleague – they WILL make your life hell, plus lecturers like to stick together like a massive tribe of coursework evilness.
  16. Journals are amazingly convenient to cite in essays, but every now and again pick up an actual book… you know…like the internet, but on paper?
  17. Freshers will be awkward if you don’t know anyone, but it also makes for great stories later down the line. Like the time you asked the blatant security guard at Freshers what course he was studying…or the time you decided to rap Eminem (badly!) to a room full of people you don’t know in the SU to ‘break the ice’.
  18. You will probably end up with a nickname, whether your aware of it or not… I had that many I forgot my actual name at times.
  19. Don’t wear heels on a night out. Just don’t. You will only have yourself to blame when you’re hobbling like a wonky flamingo all night.
  20. Don’t take everything so seriously! You’ll probably never get the chance to have as much fun and as little responsibility again.




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