I wanted to write about something that’s been bothering me for a while now to get it off my chest.
Finding and maintaining genuine, long-lasting friendships is something that I’ve always struggled with for a multitude of reasons. Now, I don’t have a problem making friends initially, but I do have a tendency to pick the wrong kinds of people. I’ve found myself in the same situation a few times over the last few years and have lost a lot of friends, for various reasons. Something that I’ve learnt along the way is that it never hurts any less to lose a friend.
Over the years I’ve built my walls up. To meet me you’d probably think I’m friendly, a little reserved at times, but happy to make conversation and get to know people. What people don’t see is my lack of trust in people and my scepticism towards building long-lasting friendships; this has literally stemmed from being hurt so many times.
Recently I lost one of my ‘best’ friends, who I have known for a number of years. We were very close and we spoke almost every day. But eventually, like others, she showed her true colours and let me down in the most colossal way.
My question I guess is, how do people learn to trust again after being hurt so many times by friends? I’ve kind of gotten to the point now where I don’t want to put myself out there and that’s hard for me. It’s made me really question why I keep getting into the same situation. However, I honestly believe it’s important not to give up, no matter how hard it gets.
My tips for dealing with fake friends are as follows:
- Speak to your friend about what bothers you – true, it can make or break your friendship, but you won’t regret being honest.
- Think about how the friendship benefits you. If the negatives outweigh the positives, is it really worth your time?
- Know that you DO deserve better. It might be a cliché, but you need to put yourself first and know your worth. Don’t stay in a friendship purely because you think you won’t find other friends (trust me I know, easier said than done!)
- Finally, learn to be by yourself. Learn what you like/dislike doing. Understand yourself and who you are. Learn to enjoy your life for YOU!
If anyone has any other tips – please let me know! 🙂